here i am learning my why
im really thankful for those that have crossed through this threshold before me and that s p e a k to it. the threshold being the place that you arrive to in your journey where you’ve taken the leap and are now sitting in the “now what” moment of it. not necessarily stretched to capacitate all that is coming, yet stretched just enough to take the next step. im thankful because of whats classic about someone sharing their story of how taking the leap works, and it helping you persist. there is something so sweet in eldership that i wont ever be able to shake my respect of — so again, thank you.
i guess its only right to speak on this juncture im currently in. the one where im posting flyers in coffee shop, gathering courage to write, paint, and have it be outward facing, trusting that me leaving nannying because of all the subtle signs that were apparent is the right choice. i sit here in a coffee shop now actually, flyer freshly laid for others to see, and thinking about how in the timeline that i just exited — i’d be going to work to be with the babies tomorrow. im actually living in the space that was so far for so long, and now it feels like it all happened in a second. just one second.
so here’s the thing, this moment feels like a complete leap of faith. the kind where all i can do is trust that whatever i create is going to show me more and more and uncover the truths that im expanding to fulfill. i can even feel it now. i realize that i dont actually know what it is that im going to write about. and im just now seeing how much that is where the magic is. the unknown.
the unknown allows us to rest in it, and that very resting becomes the groundwork that transforms the trust of “i dont know”. which feels like the craziest aha moment.
because all of this fear of the unknown, just for it to be the very thing that transforms.
i will be having more at another point. for now, my practice is just going to be coming to discover more of what this unknown space has for me. it’s this quite excitement thats bubbling for the next time i get to come to this space and write. i’ll leave you with a quote that helped me get here today…
“Creation is a sustained period of bliss, even though the subject can still be very sad. Because there's the triumph of coming through and understanding that you have, and that you did it the way only you could do it. You didn't do it the way somebody told you to do it. You did it just the way you had to do it, and that is what makes us us.” - Alice Walker
be with the unknown today. find your state of bliss. trust in the leap and be engulfed in the bliss.
may peace be upon you,
jas
